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Not sure if this is good enough to post on my A03 and there doesn't seem to be any fandom still alive for me to post this fic to so I will just leave it here.

Title: The difference between cowardice and heroism
Pairings: Gruber/Helga and unrequited Gruber/Rene
Fandom: Allo Allo
Word count: 1,124
Notes: The ending to Allo Allo has always really bothered me as I felt that it made all of Gruber's previous characterisation queer-baiting rather than actual representation and suggested that even a gay mans's happy ever after involved a heterosexual marriage. If show writers are going to base nearly every joke around a character being gay and make it a huge part of their characterisation then they owe it to the audience to stick with it to the end rather than chickening out at the last episode for fear of offending viewers. So I decided to reclaim the story a bit and try to explore the situation and justify it while not making Gruber suddenly straight or without demonising Helga or devaluing their relationship.

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I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have graduated with a first class degree woop woop!!!
The Letter
I have worked hard for the whole three years of university and all that hard work has finally paid off. At times it felt impossible with all the other stuff going on in my life; transition, learning difficulties (that had a huge negative impact on my A Levels) and my whole family life being in turmoil. Yet I have managed to balance out all of that and come out on top. I did use to think that the saying ‘what doesn't kill you makes your stronger’ was a load of old twaddle but I think there is some truth in it, in the last few weeks since finishing my confidence levels have changed so dramatically even my dad noticed (and sometimes I doubt he would notice if I came home missing a limb).
Now having time to reflect I can look back at the whole three years of university, at the beginning I was really nervous, quiet and a less happy version of the person I now am. Even going back through my posts on here I can see a change – in march last year I made this post about feeling brave to wear shorts in public. This year I have been going out on the town, to pubs with friends and to lectures all in shorts without a care in the world. Maybe some of that is down to being too busy to worry about anything over than work but I think it’s more than that.
I feel my new found confidence is here to stay – it’s not a riding a high confidence but feels more like inner calm and strength, maybe it’s more self-assurance and belief in my own abilities than just confidence.
Especially in this last final year I have often thought “have I bitten off more than I can chew?”. I’ve worried about doing a dissertation outside of my immediate subject area and struggled with running the LGBT society and trying to do third year at the same time.  During these wobbles in self-belief one of my good friends would often say “don’t stress over not getting a first, only 8% of people get them so you are unlikely to get one anyway”. Whenever he said that I’d just think “well someone has to be in that 8%, why not me”.
And much to my surprise it turned out that I could do all three really well. With the LGBT society we have won prizes this year for "Best designed freshers stall", "Most improved society" and "Society of the year". I got an A- for my dissertation and a First overall.
Winning 'Society of the Year' award.
I guess that is what this degree has really taught me, confidence doesn’t have to be brash and loud and bold, instead it is just listening to that stubborn inner voice that quietly says “why not me, I can do it – someone has to”.

Time to celebrate!

(also posted on my blog: http://okaykaye.blogspot.co.uk/)

18th Jun, 2013

So today I decided to take up jogging again and found out that 1. I can't run, and 2. I turn a funny shade of purple when I try.


15th Feb, 2013

Up until recently I've always liked the Cabin Pressure fandom but seriously, if another person from the fandot decides to tell me how to be a vegetarian based of Herc's misplaced comment about cheese then I will murder them with cheese and then eat it over their grave. You listened to half an hour of comedy and think you know more about vegetarianism than someone born and raised veggie. Just no, go sit back down.

Yes it used to have touched rennet which was made from cow DNA, nowadays 90% of all cheese in the UK is made with Chymosin which is produced in genetically modified organisms that are no more complex than the bacteria we will ingest daily and it isn't even in the cheese when you eat the cheese.
Anyone else listening to Cabin Pressure tonight?

Cabin Pressure Squee post

Feel free to squee with me about Cabin Pressure
Well done to me, sucessfully killing of budding friendships by getting myself labelled a racist for daring to say 'I don't think RDJ is an evil racist homophobe'

In other news


Tumblr and facebook merged, it was bad, somehow I am friends with a manic social justice blogger on facebook. It was like being on tumblr but on facebook. I just really cant shut up when someone has the opinion of 'if a POC (because we like pretending to be americans and so refuse to use the English version of BME, which is less racist that POC but don't point that out) is offended by something then no one can question it because they are BME, not even other BME people can disagree.'

Seriously I hate it when in a discussion someone goes 'well a ton of BME folk agree with me, so you must be wrong, if you argue back you are racist cos you are white'. BME people aren't a card combo you can throw down in any argument to win it. And being BME doesn't mean you don't have to use logic, if your argument is stupid, its stupid no matter who you are, where you come from or the colour of your skin. 

Okay so you are offended. Great what next. Being offended doesn't mean you are right. 

So yeah I really walked into it and knew I was getting myself into a bad situation. I am fully respectful of someone saying 'thats racist because...' in those instances you have to stop and listen. But then you get to act upon that information. Yes you have to consider, okay I am white, this effects things and I have to go the extra mile to make sure I don't silence this opinion. But on the other hand you cant just throw logic out the window and say okay you are offended so you must be right. Especially when its another white person saying it to you, trying to represent everyone BME who has a problem with a film. 

Last year I needed some interviewee's to help me do a mock-umentary and my friends on here rose fantastically to the occasion, with the resulting audio piece (no video) being this.

I am now in my third and final year at Northampton University and  I am hoping to do another audio piece that focuses on people's relationship with different narratives.

  • Is there a particular book, film or show that changed your life?                                     
  • Do you write fanfiction or make fanvideos and would like to talk about why you do so and what kind of topics and messages you are addressing?
  • Would you be willing to share what goes on in your imagination when you read or watch your favorite story?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions then I need you! I would love to have representatives from a large selection of fandoms, so if you would like the stories that you love focused on do get in touch.

Please leave a comment if you are interested in taking part. Especially if you are in the UK but if not I can find a way around these distance problems (such as interviewing you via email and getting a voice actor to 'play' you in an interview).

The piece will be hoping to look at fanfiction as a modern folk tale and as reclaiming narratives for the people from capitalist co-corporations. In other words, it will be very pro-fanfiction and fandom activity - I will not be judgmental and understand how fandom works.

If you are interested in any of my other pieces, incase you want to check me out to check this is legit, then here are some links:

A victorian soundscape built from scratch - I intend to create soudnscapes around the fandoms I focus on.

A surrealist short film that has inspiration from several fandoms

Soundscape for buffy - more fandom stuff, I took a few scenes from buffy that had all of the sound removed and created a soundscape that would be broadcast worthy

(Don't contact me via youtube as I no longer use that account).

Folder Decorating


Fed up with boring old folders but can't afford to buy expensive ones? I've been decorating mine, here's a how to:

How to:Collapse )

Sam Plushie signed by John Simm!

As people in the comments on Ferns post expressed an interest in the plushie signing that happened at the LFCC I thought I would make a seperate post to show everyone the pictures.

Plushie Sam PicturesCollapse )